Losing a baby is much like the season of Lent. You are already immersed in fasting, prayer and almsgiving, especially when you are carrying a baby with a fatal prenatal diagnosis. The Lent that I carried Frances, I saw the beauty in the season. I was uniting my suffering with God’s beautiful plan.
I was fasting in the biggest way I had ever fasted in my life. I fasted from dreams for my precious child. I fasted from seeing my future with her. I fasted from the thought that I would have five living children. I fasted from the thought that my beautiful girls would not have a baby to love on. I fasted from the thought that I would get to nurse and snuggle my precious newborn. I fasted from the thought that her amazing daddy would ever get to walk her down the aisle.
I prayed like I’d never prayed before. You probably think I was praying for a miracle, that she would be born healthy and prove the doctors wrong. Yet, my prayers were of a miracle of a different kind. I prayed for peace. I prayed for acceptance and obedience to God’s enduring plan for this beautiful child. I prayed that I would be able to see her for the gift she was and continues to be. I prayed I would learn all the valuable gifts her radiant life had to share. I prayed to have joy and no sorrow while she was here. God answered that one in a big way. I also prayed for God to heal my broken heart and to help me and my precious family through the grieving process. He surrounded us with so many beautiful souls to help us through. And to this day, God has answered my prayers. My beautiful saint whose message was simply, LOVE, is in Heaven with Him. Created perfectly to live in Heaven with Him throughout all eternity. Praise God!
Francie’s biggest lesson was almsgiving, not just food or money, but love. I gave her all my love, so she could live 91 radiant minutes surrounded by those who loved her. Her life and death demanded total self-giving. I had to choose to lovingly give her back to her creator. Give back this beautiful gift of love and sacrifice. Francie taught me to find the little opportunities in this life to love. I can now see through the lenses of the gift her life was and continues to be. A sacred life, born to show us God’s LOVE, even when we think we are in the desert.
Your Foundress of Sacred Dignity,
Shannon Hansen
